This entry is more like a journal and a NTS, but here we go~
My mother, my brother and I were on a train (not sky train, but the good old train), supposedly my brother and I had just got off the plane, and we were on our way to see our family in Taiwan. My mother and brother were sitting, I was standing close by. It was 10pm when we got off the train, took a few steps, and my mother and brother sat down on a bench, again, i was just standing near by.
I asked my mom, “shouldn’t we get going? don’t you have to work tmr still?”
“No, its ok, i dont really need to go, i want to spend time with you guys, if anything, i can just quit.”
Interestingly, she was wearing 3 pairs of glasses?
At this point, my brother was thirsty, and somehow he had a drink in his hands, and i produced a straw from my pocket (a starbucks straw), and we jokingly said, “the straw was imported.”
Then I turned around, saw one of my aunt (#5 of 7 sisters), feeding her baby.
Then I woke up, 5:30am in the morning.
The first thing I said was “Dang it.”
If you haven’t caught on by now, I had just awoken from a dream.
Tears just started flowing, I didn’t want to wake up, even though I knew it was just a dream. You see, it has been almost 14 years since when my mother went to see the Lord. I didn’t think it’ll actually still hurt. I sang a chinese hymn, 除你以外 (Whom Have I in Heaven but You (Psalm 73), under my breath as i was silently weeping.
In the dream, I really was mainly an observer, I was observing the interaction between my mother and my brother (kindergarden age in the dream). The care and affection, the love that shone through. I did not want to wake up, but I also know that I must move on.
Is there a lesson in the dream? Maybe. Maybe its spend time with loved ones before its too late.
But I also feel like that was not the point.
The point was that there is hope.
I was told by my aunt (same one as in the dream) that my mother had accepted Christ just before she passed away. So the hope is that this seperation is only temporary, but it is still drentched in sorrow. IF this seperation had been permanent, I really don’t know how I would feel.
But I can rely on the faithfulness of God, as He sees and keeps count of every tear, and is the manifestation of a perfect Love.
But my brother… oh brother…